Ever since last Sunday, I’ve had gut issue. Sunday night and much of Monday I was puking with some regularity. Then whatever bug it was descended to my lower guy, providing interesting races to the toilet. ‘Nuff said.
Monday I have to get a blood draw to check my kidney function before a CT Scan on Friday. I had a regular annual follow-up scan a few weeks ago and they had questions. Not sure what they saw, or thought they saw, but there were questions concerning a “soft tissue mass” in my upper abdomen, so they’re going in with contrast dye to see if they can figure it out. And then a couple weeks after that I have to do a colonoscopy. And between the scan and the ‘scopy I have to see the urologist for my annual visit there. Oh joy, eh?
So I have doctor visits every week the next three weeks, which upsets me because they have large co-pays and they will take time out of my days when I should be tweaking the Web sites and dyeing yarn and making money. I don’t need that much stress in my life.
And, I realize I will be 70 on my next birthday. I don’t have a lot of birthdays left. I don’t want to work until I die, I want to have some time when I am confident my bills will be paid, I’ll have a place to live and food to eat, and access to things to actually DO. There’s fairly little to do here, unless I want to visit yet another copy-cat strip mall and spend money I don’t have on things I don’t need. I would much rather live closer into town with easy bus access to museums, life theater, and other activities in town. I supposed without a major benefactor to leave me a significant trust fund, I suppose I will likely die without doing any of that.
I’m not being morbid or maudlin, just recognizing that the sum of my life isn’t what I would have hope it could have been. Few people will miss me, and even fewer will notice I’m gone, when the time comes. I’m mostly okay with that, since my whole life has been just that way.
But enough of that for now. I need to get my crap together for a fairly early night so I can be well-rested for tomorrow, a work day for me. Yarns to dye and sell, you know.
Leave a Reply